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February 20th, 2007


04:06 pm - 6years of difference
admit it...
it's changed....

no...its got nothing to do with my current status...
i have geared this direction since long before that...

it was something i treasure...
and i have waited the past year for something right to happen...
for it to mend itself....
but it didnt...

you....
who are you to say those things abt him...
what do you know? what has he done to you?
he deserves nothing of that sort from you.

you....
have you forgotten the friend who was always there? through your darker years?
just bcos he said so doesnt mean you cant make judgements and decisions yourself.

you....
whats with the "oh-I-love-you-so-but-in-front-of-you-ONLY" mask?  
dont you have enough politics in your office?
polishing your acting skills? a constant display of your talents in PR-ing?
or perhaps its just a misinterpretation of "life's a drama"?

when i see others...
yea they bitch at each other...
but i also see concern....
gentle words at quiet moments...
but....us....hah...

and you....
you used to be someone i admire....look up to...
you were just a student but you had pride...
you care....you were positive...
you made a difference...
very much a role model...

you lent a crying shoulder...
and for that...
I defended for the many battles of tongues...
i tried to understand but it was hard...
when you are constantly contradicting yourself...
when you do not what you preach...

"oh you know i hate it when ppl...."
turn ard and you do the same thing...
but you always have an excuse for yourself...
and its not just the incident you think i mean

dont ask for too much when you treat us like 2nd class citizens...
dont complain we are not concern when you dont treat us like good frens anymore...
stop reflecting...
if reflection to u is cooking up more excuses for yourself...
if it is pushing the blames to all others and victimising yourself...

I've done what i can...
though you may not know....
i've fought... i've talked...
i've consoled...i've reprimanded...
i've waited....
but i am not a saint ...
i am tired of all these...

maybe its just me...
no longer the accomodating me...
Current Mood: [mood icon] cold

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February 14th, 2006


08:32 pm - 知道吗? 我很脆弱
范瑋琪《想太多》

不要以为 一脸冷漠
不要以为 只会沉默
我只是不懂得表达我
不要以为 很难捉模
你对我还 认识不多
那一天你会了解我
我哭我也大笑 喜欢热闹也爱平淡
真的教人觉得那么复杂
为什么 想太多 想太多 让自己折磨
知道吗 我很脆弱
有谁会 来安慰我 陪伴着我

在我心理 有个角落
让我一个人好好安坐
计算自己的 痛苦与快乐
我的天地 从没有降落
终有一天 你来爱我
但我却依然 不晓得怎么做

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December 8th, 2005


09:53 pm
it was quite disappointing as didnt really learn much things...
nothing to buy also....
mostly books n winter clothes...

winter... good n bad...
different from sg's hot weather...
abit lay-cheh wearing so many layers...

gosh....
now my skin is so dry it itches...
jialat...


well.... after this trip...
really realise its quite difficult travelling with many ppl..
u wanna do this... but feel bad to ask all along...
but what they wanna do may not be what u wan...
but then again... travelling alone also sianz...

maybe its best is to go there....
then split to do own things a while then meet again...

actually i miss singapore so much not really looking forward to my trip tomorrow

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08:51 pm
finally!!!
back in singapore....
YES!!!!!!!!

ok la.... the trip wasnt that bad...
but... just miss singapore...

so blessed to be a singaporean...

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November 24th, 2005


12:20 am
gosh...
the hair colour turned out VERY much lighter than what i bargain for....
if it was 5yrs ago.... i would be happy...
but now.... so old... working liao...
cannot accept the drama....

jialat... how to face to world tomolo

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November 6th, 2005


10:47 pm
yea i am not feeling too well...
dunno if its jus the things happening...
or simply bcos its that time of the year again..
argh..
Current Mood: [mood icon] annoyed

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10:18 pm
when talking/discussing/commenting/bitching/arguing/whatever-ing about something last nite...
i blurted out...
at least when i look back... i know * was super nice to me and it meant something...

indeed... it left a mark....
so... issit what its all about?
looking back and see something? making an impact?
issit abt making a difference in each other's life?
issit abt making one happy?
or like some say bring one up to another level (which i still cannot understand)?
or issit just so that u can go to a party and say..hey this is my who-n-who?

am i looking for someone to fill up the spaces?
or someone who will make me more than what i am?

its really different when u are the lead and u are jus a bystander....
esp a bystander who is a fren...
some things which u think is intolerable may be nothing at all to the lead...
so perhaps its still the best to let things be ...
dun interpret... dun comment...
sometimes it will lead to salah things u didnt foresee...
worse... sometimes u become a villian...
so better to not bother....
but then if all dun care... what world will this become?

sometimes the closer u observe things... the more faith u lose....
i dont have much faith to begin with...
so i shall close my eyes
Current Mood: [mood icon] crappy

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09:01 am
Can anyone please tell me what is wrong with me??
Current Mood: [mood icon] blank

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October 23rd, 2005


05:38 pm - He is driving me crazy!!! *love
kekekke....
thomas n steph n the cow will tell u how big a fan of chicken (meat) i am....

and i have a big soft spot for cuties...
kekeke...
like stitch... so cute...

this one... jialat...
is chicken....
is VERY cute....
and can dance!!!!
what else can i ask for.... *faintz
i'm in love....
lol.....

===

big thanks to Oleng for the song...
and critkal.... the dancing clip!!!!!!!!!!1
*faintz...

too bad not full song else i can learn the whole dance move... LOL

http://media.putfile.com/chickenlittle44
(coutesy of critikal)

notice the expression when he does the "stirring" move...
and when he goes "ma-ia-hoo"...
the puupy eyes...
i almost die of the current...
*faintz
Current Mood: [mood icon] ecstatic
Current Music: Chicken Little dancing to "Dragostea Din Tei"

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12:01 pm
caught the flight plan yesterday...
hmmm.... not too bad...
the last portion very exciting!
kekeke....

but the most enjoyable part was actually the...
silent your handphone clip by chicken little...
kekeke....
sooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he was dancing to the song...
chorus is...
" bi la hee...bi la haa... bi la hor.... bi la ha ha...
know my know my name.... know my know my know my name..."
or at least it sounds like that... when i tipsy...
in club... not the theatre... kekkeke....
anyone knows what song issit huh???
kekekek...

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October 19th, 2005


06:47 pm
sighz.....
the cow has problems with his leave........
boohooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.............................

so EVIL.... how can a company deprive its employees of their leaves??
BAD!!!!!!!!!!!
EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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01:42 am
some time ago...
karl suggested that we take a weekend getaway to KL...
and then take a trip to BKK at the end of the year...

well... wasnt really that keen initially...
but dunno why tok n tok over a few sat....
got interested....
anyway never been to both... so why not?

2 weeks later he cancelled the trip to KL...
well... never mind ...
at least still got BKK...
intend to stay there a bit longer...
then can relax....
and spend like a KING!!!!

kekeke... really looking forward to the trip!!!!!!!
yes yes!!!!!!!!!!

=========

also kena semi-arrowed for a learning trip to China...
hmmm.... ok la... guess i dun mind...
but not fully sponsored...
sighz.... so bad... :~

so i will be going on 2 trips....
YES YES!!!!!!!!
time to fly fly fly!!!!

so excited!!!!!!!
kekekeke....
got 2 songs abt travelling i like...
but both sad sad... though music not that sad...
but lyrics break here break there...
cannot... hahahah....
Current Mood: [mood icon] excited

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October 16th, 2005


01:33 am - opens the heart a little
had supper with steph, perfi and stev....
Perfi reminded stev not to dirty his shirt....
Perfi seeing stev having A BIT of difficulty stretching for the food in his exec shirt said...
"aiyoooo..... see u so XIN GU..... change seats with u la...."

well.... it may seem like nothing much....but....
after 2 yrs.... behind all those bickerings.... the amt of genuine care....
not the oh-i-have-to-follow-the-"Love for DUMMY"-guidebook kind of "CARE"...

ok.... it may still not seem like a big thing....
no 2 KA LA diamond.... no dozenSSS of roses...
but sometimes its really the small gestures that tells a lot...
and seeing the amount of tolerance perfi has given...
(...well... not to say that stev never tolerate la...
but me closer to perfi of cos see things more from perfi eyeview mah...
mus give him credits la.... both side tolerate ok.... )

jus when i was getting skeptical....
hahahah....
this silly old boi is not only good at making my eyes ROLL...
this silly old boi made my heart open a little tonite....

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October 6th, 2005


10:33 pm - 想飞的小孩儿

从前,从前,有个小孩儿AA喜欢上了另一个小孩儿CC。
终于,AA鼓起勇气向CC表白。
渐渐地,CC也开始有了特别的感觉。

CC对AA无微不至,而和CC在一起的时间也成为AA每天的盼望。
脾气不算很好的CC从来不对AA发脾气,反而处处让着AA,像个孩子般的宠着他。
CC为AA花尽心思,为AA拼的拼图,令他十分感动。
CC对AA的细心填满所有空隙,甚至AA还没操心的事,CC已替他想好了。
CC不断的付出,令他们幸福了一年多。

或许,CC默默的无微不至让AA没发现捧在手心上的幸福,就像我们不会真正去珍惜空气。
AA开始厌倦那淡如开水的生活。

==========

风一样的男子
爱你很好真的很好
你知道什么是我想要
当被你拥抱
我甚至想不出有什么是我所缺少
早餐做好衬衫烫好
让我看来是你的骄傲
你从不吵闹
但是这安静的生活
使我想逃
想看远一些想走远一点
我不甘心就这样让一切停下来
假装这是所谓的永远
也许我是将风溶解在血中的男子
也许我是天生习惯自私
你用温柔和真挚
面对我在爱里放肆的样子
也许我是将风溶解在血中的男子
也许我是天生崇拜追逐
当你将疑虑装得若无其事
请原谅我
像风一样的男子

=========

他开始对CC诸多挑剔,埋怨这儿,埋怨那儿,常为了点小事而耍脾气。
CC还是处处忍让。

终于,CC对AA说:“如果你真的觉得我不好,在我这里不开心,你去找别人好了。我们做朋友好了。”

=========

男人.海洋

当我抱着你的时候
窗外风起黄叶飘落
以为是浪漫
原来只是有心在飞走
不懂情人心里想的
爱就瞎了也迷路了
想摸索什么
摸到了你手心的沉默
最痴情的男人像海洋
爱在风暴里逞强
苦还是风平浪静的模样
卷起了依恋那么长
挥手目送你启航
到你觉得我给不了的天堂
温柔的男人像海洋
爱在关键时隐藏
而心酸汇集都敞开胸膛
做远远看护的月光
不做阻挡你的墙
我的爱是折下自己的翅膀
送给你飞翔

==========

那晚,AA哭了整夜。

==========

可惜不是你

这一刻突然觉得好熟悉
像昨天今天同时在放映
我这句语气原来好像你
不就是我们爱过的证据

差一点骗了自己骗了你
爱与被爱不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一种运气
但我无法完全交出自己

努力为你改变
却变不了预留的伏线
以为在你身边那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天
可是昨天已非常遥远
但闭上我双眼我还看得见

可惜不是你陪我到最後
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
那一段我们曾心贴着心
我想我更有权力关心你
可能你已走进别人风景
多希望也有星光的投影
努力为你改变
却变不了预留的伏线
以为在你身边那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天
可是昨天已非常遥远
但闭上双眼我还看得见

可惜不是你陪我到最後
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
可惜不是你陪我到最後
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
感谢那是你牵过我的手
还能温暖我胸口

========

多年后,当AA想寻找些爱过的证据,只有CC浮现他的脑海。
AA应该难过他不曾懂得珍惜,还是高兴他曾被爱过?

或许,
爱,是当他对他说:“若你在这里找不到幸福,那你飞吧。”
但,
活该,
应该就是,到后来,最想念的,竟是自己最不珍惜的那个。


Current Mood: [mood icon] curious
Current Music: 可惜不是你 - 梁静茹

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September 19th, 2005


09:50 pm - 悲哀的男人
悲哀的男人 - COCOa Bean

在镜子前面 我是个悲哀的男人
在爱的门外 这个周末 我可以依赖在谁的胸怀

已这么多年 我还是单身的男人
爱总缺了缘分 也许我用情不该太深 也不能太认真

为什么悲哀 为什么不是被爱
为什么我还是只能在门外徘徊
为什么想爱 望眼亦快要欲穿
为什么仍看不到我的未来

别再让我等待 我不会永远青春可爱
我的美丽要爱和关怀帮我保留下来

让心停泊下来 我不要寂寞汹涌澎湃
我的爱要一颗真心来爱
我不是每次失恋后都能重新再来
(我不愿有天寻到爱 只剩空心来爱)

===========

hohohohoho....
nah.... not feeling that depressed...
jus feeling bo liaoz and LC ( Lame & Corneeeee)

===========

feeling very 90s lately...
maybe another sign of aging..... *faintz
tried to find Tracy's CDs but cannot find...
even HMV also dun have... only have her super old songs...
strange...

realised why i never buy the Jeff Chang's compilation...
like so many songs dun have....
how come dun have 用情?下雪边界?爱就一个字?

dug out my Jeff Chang compilation VCD instead...
shit....
how come he can sing so F***ing high soooo effortlessly...
Panda and Lin Zhi Xuan dont sound so "calm" when biao-ing the high notes...
reminds me of my army mates.... the good old days...
when we tried to challenge his songs every monthly KTV session....
aaaahhhhhhh.......... those were the days...
ok.... i sound like an old bean....

===========

been so lazy lately.... getting fat...
sighz... so sianz...
when is the next holiday?!??!?!?
anywhere any sales? or any sales coming up??
Current Mood: [mood icon] creative

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September 11th, 2005


10:59 pm


疲惫人生
大家都说做人好累,我也这么觉得。
要戴上假发、戴上面具、戴上眼镜、戴上笑容。
穿上内衣、穿上外衣、再穿上外套,
穿上内裤、穿上外裤、再系上皮带,
穿上袜子、穿上鞋子、再绑上鞋带,
天天都得如此,直到上天堂。


假面的告白
星期六的早上,我突然觉得疲累,
坐在公园的石椅上,
决定摘下带了许久的头盔。
很多事情是没有原因的,
我顺畅的呼吸,却感到焦虑。
慎重的思考,
应该脱下兽皮,
或是重新带上威武的头盔


取自《听几米唱歌》· 几米


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06:03 pm - Are U clean?....i mean...cleaR?

dear hunks and babes out there....
well.... we all know...
that sometimes a MAJOR arguement occurs due to some miscommunication...
sometimes its bcos different ppl got different expectation or definition of certain things...
sometimes its bcos of mis-UNDERSTANDING or mis-comprehension...
of cos sometimes it's just bcos ppl wanna argue...

but thats besides the point...
the point i am trying to say is....
(.... ok ... the above para doesnt really focus at any point... but... well...)
i am NOT seeing a few ppl at one moment...
be it this moment... that moment.... last moment... or precious moments...
i am not even dating one SINGULAR person...

IF i meet A for dinner on friday...
meet B for movie on saturday...
meet C for kopi on sunday....
it DOESN'T mean i am dating ABC....

jus like if i had sushi on fri... pasta on sat... chicken rice on sun...
it doesnt mean i have been travelling around the world...

-________-"

there is more to the term "dating" or "seeing"...
doesnt go out one time or even a couple of times means dating....
and sometimes when ppl use "dinner date" ....
it doesnt mean they are "dating" that "date".....
cos we all know when we look up the dictionary.....
there are definitions 12345678910 to some words.......


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11:44 am - HR
human relationship is definitely very complicated...
and delicate....fragile too...

on one hand u may really appreciate the amount of care n concern n tolerance someone has showered...
on the other u may be unhappy with something the person does....

so what do u do?

will u tell the person?
jeopardizing the relationship...
be it frenship... relationship... "colleague-ship"

will u pretend nothing is wrong?
let it chew into ur relationship?
till its too late to salvage?

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10:28 am
caught the perfect catch...
yea i wish....
i meant i caught "Perfect Catch"...
kekekeke....
not bad....
sweet n funny....
u know.... the typical romantic comedy formula...
something happens....at the edge of breaking up...
someone does something... touches the other..
all's well again...

almost *ahem at the scene when she told him...
all this passion u have for red sox...
i feel it too.... for u...

fwah.... imagine the pain...
kekek... typical but never fails to get me..
ahahah... so dun take it from me... :P

found out that there is this 10th yr anniversary version of Alanis Morissette's Jagged Little Pill...
acoustic version of the old album...
anyone heard the songs?
issit as nice??
nicer??

yea yea....
life has a funny way of sneaking up on u when u think everything's ok...

particularly love a sentence frmo the song...
ah ah...
no.... i know which sentence u are thinking of...
though that IS quite ARGH....
i mean extremely argh.....
but still....
the helplessness when...
its like ten thousand spoons when all u need is a knife...
如此的无奈...
its like ten thousand * when all u need is a *

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08:46 am - bad luck
argh.... been so unlucky the past few days leh...

WEDNESDAY ESPECIALLY...
kena extra duties cos colleague applied leave...
missed all the buses and trains i wanna take...
even the suntec shuttle bus took a full 30min to come!!!

lagi worse... kena summon...
no i dont drive...
ARGH.... this is maddening...
i got fined for crossing the road 10metres away from the blinking green man...
ARGH...
u know... at the big T junction...
u come up from cityhall MRT to get over to peninsular plaza??!?!?!
sounds familiar?!?!?!
YES!! OF COURSE!!!
EVERYBODY JAY WALKS THERE!!!
the only difference is ...
only a person down on luck will kena caught...

when i cross... i saw him signalling to me...
so i went over...
(ARGH... i shd have pretended not to notice..)
while he took down my name, ic and address...
my mind went so DUHZZZ for a moment....
i could only stare at him....
then he gave me some "concern" n safety talk...

my left eye looked down the street...
dozen of ppl were Jwalking..
my right eye looked at his note pad...
my name was the only one on it...

i got lagi upset...
i was SOOO unlucky that i was the only one who kena...
ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH.......
maybe he is jus thinking of taking down one name so that he dun need to report empty handed...
and i jus happened to be the F***ing unlucky one....
ARGH...
F....

after the buffet dinner with steph n ah ben...
i reached home....
jus when i thot my unlucky day was over...........

to complete "Bad Luck Streak Package A".......
i was left with a surprise i will only find out the next day...
A FEVER....
so i had to spend the whole of thursday in bed....
sweating yet feeling cold inside...
ARRRRGGGGHHH....
i hope its the dreadful dengue :(

yea.... and bcos of this stupid fever...
i missed an invitation to the circus show...
worth more than a hundred bucks...
shit...
and i heard it was very good...
in his exact WORD...
D says:
fantabulous!

AAAARRRRRGGGGHH!!!!!!
F***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

friday ....
i was slightly better....
had to burn the whole day at work cos had an event at nite....
was dressed in polo n kakhis...
had to host a SMALL SHORT SHORT segment...
but my sup insisted it wasnt proper attire...
so i had to ask my bro to come down all the way with some decent clothes...
Current Mood: [mood icon] annoyed

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